Jacki C King

Yesterday marked an end to the beginning of other lessons learned. Although pain, exhaustion, heartache, and confusion are still emotions that seem to continually hit me instantaneously at random times of the day, but now I am also filled with gratefulness and humility.

While going through the hardship of my miscarriage I ended up hemorrhaging. I remember so much pain that my entire body would shake when the contractions would come. I bled for hours and then all of a sudden went faint. I kept praying “Help, God Help.” Josh rushed me to the emergency room as I was poked and prodded by doctors and nurses, embarrassed as I laid on the table with no understanding at all. 6 hours later I got to come home in some ways as if life was back to normal. Josh made the comment that I needed to remember the day for a bible study, because I was the woman with the bleeding problem. I remember thinking that sometimes being married to a minister gives you bible studies at unwanted times.

Although last night I wasn’t up for Bible studies God kept bringing this story to mind today and using it to strengthen and encourage me, so I thought I would share it with you, and maybe someone out in the world wide web will be helped to cope and understand such a roller coaster as I have been on these last couple of weeks.

Mark Chapter 5

25 A woman suffering from bleeding for 12 years 26 had endured much under many doctors. She had spent everything she had and was not helped at all. On the contrary, she became worse. 27 Having heard about Jesus, she came behind Him in the crowd and touched His robe. 28 For she said, “If I can just touch His robes, I’ll be made well!” 29 Instantly her flow of blood ceased, and she sensed in her body that she was cured of her affliction.

30 At once Jesus realized in Himself that power had gone out from Him. He turned around in the crowd and said, “Who touched My robes?”

31 His disciples said to Him, “You see the crowd pressing against You, and You say, ‘Who touched Me?’ “

32 So He was looking around to see who had done this. 33 Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came with fear and trembling, fell down before Him, and told Him the whole truth. 34 “Daughter,” He said to her, “your faith has made you well. Go in peace and be free from your affliction.”

So this story written thousands of years ago has somehow come to life for me and my family. I can imagine how embarrassed and dehumanized this woman has been. Much of how my previous psalm stated, she felt broken and dirty. Her value in having being able to have children was not even a possibility. People wouldn’t touch her, and she felt as if she had a huge ‘A’ on her chest. In verse 26 it says that she had done everything that she could and instead got worse. I think many of us could feel that in so many instances life seems to get worse before it gets better.

One day the Messiah comes and in a crowd of people knows her. He knows her faith, her humility, and her focus. A woman, whose name we don’t even know but with a condition that I believe many can understand, and she was healed because of her faith.

I can’t say that I can completely sit back and say that I have learned all that I have needed during this dark and scary time of my life, but I do know that my faith and my Father will heal. I am grateful to be alive an able to learn the lessons that He has for me now and latter on. I may not be able to physically touch his garments, but each day I approach his throne with whatever emotion I have, which the burdens that feel so heavy on my shoulders and he picks me up and calls me daughter.