The Jones’
It’s been a while since I have actually been able to sit down and type and think and reflect on anything. The topic that is on my mind is the game of comparison. It seems to be something that is showing its ugly face pretty frequently within the past couple weeks and its about time I vent about how tired I am of it and how I and others need to grow up and just relax about life and maybe get a comment or two and move on in my life so here it goes.
I was speaking with one of my friends about church and life. Her and her husband got married shortly after Josh and I got married. She was telling me about how her Bible study classes are at her church and getting to be around a group of other young married couples. She then went on to say that they had to form a completely different Bible study class based on the fact that some couples were feeling pressured to have kids right after tying the knot from other couples in the class that were pregnant.
Now, I don’t know if it is somewhere intertwined between the XX chromosome to be petty and to constantly deal with this issue of jealousy and comparison, and keeping up with the Jones’ but how much wasted energy can there be in constantly trying to keep up with a couple, or a family, or even a movie star, or pop culture in general.
It makes me wonder how many people get pregnant just because they want to fit into a certain group. Or how many people go out and buy these massive homes for no reason but to try to have a bigger and better one that their arch enemy.
I was so encouraged to talk to my friends and have a likeminded conversation on the basis that we don’t care where the other couple is, and we don’t care how many babies are popping out, or what Christmas lights are on the others house, we just do what we like and that’s it.
I have found though, that for all of us in some area or another we struggle with some kind of discontented mindset. Why else would God include into the Ten Commandments to not covet your neighbor’s possession? I think he knew that we are so consumed with ourselves and our view of who we are and who others think we are that it was ultimately unavoidable.
So here’s to an earnest attempt of being content with what God has given me. I am grateful, I don’t want kids right now, and I’m tired battling with those that want nothing more than a shallow competition of who’s better than who and calling it friendship.
Open Mouth, Insert Foot
You remember in your dating days when you would go on your first date, or
youd finally get to talk to that guy or that girl you think is soo cute, and you get done talking and you walk away and think, “I talked to whole time.” “I said too much, they probably think I’m so weird,” “Do I have food in my teeth.”
For whatever reason I have this freedom yet constriction tonight. I had two and a half hours of laughs, tears, shaky voices, and challenges. I honestly think that when two believers on the basis of being sinners and imperfect and damaged come together and talk, that there is these strands of emotion, love, and understanding being wrapped and braided into one big knot.
You almost get to the point where you could talk for hours and not really know the time that has passed until you realize their kids are sitting at someones house watching the second hand go by click by click.
“Did you ever stop to ask what a yoke is really for? Is it to be a burden to the animal which wears it? It is just the opposite: it is to make its burden light. Attached to the oxen in any other way than by a yoke, the plow would be intolerable; worked by means of a yoke, it is light. A yoke is not an instrument of torture; it is an instrument of mercy. It is not a malicious contrivance for making work hard; it is a gentle device to make hard labor light. [Christ] knew the difference between a smooth yoke and a rough one, a bad fit and a good one… The rough yoke galled, and the burden was heavy; the smooth yoke caused no pain, and the load was lightly drawn. The badly fitted harness was a misery; the well fitted collar was “easy”. And what was the “burden”? It was not some special burden laid upon the Christian, some unique infliction that they alone must bear. It was what all men bear: it was simply life, human life itself, the general burden of life which all must carry with them from the cradle to the grave. Christ saw that men took life painfully. To some it was a weariness, to others failure, to many a tragedy, to all a struggle and a pain. How to carry this burden of life had been the whole world’s problem. And here is Christ’s solution: “Carry it as I do. Take life as I take it. Look at it from my point of view. Interpret it upon my principles. Take my yoke and learn of me, and you will find it easy. For my yoke is easy, sits right upon the shoulders, and therefore my burden is light.”
… Henry Drummond (1851-1897), Pax Vobiscum”
I am so incredibly indebted to those who help me pick up my yoke and tell me to keep walking, keep working, keep on, and I am even more indebted to the Savior and the Yoke Bearer that stands beside me and says lets get through this load together.
Blessings
(Just for the record this is going to be a sentimental Praise that majority
will think is dinky and feminine, which it is. There is no real biblical controversy or church disliking in this post. It’s just an examination of how incredibly thankful I am for the people in my life.)
I don’t know if its something within the XX chromosome or just the make up of mankind in general, but there has always been this desire for friendship. When I met Josh, and once we got married, it was amazing to have this person that you could call up at any point in time, and spend all of this time together, and they knew everything about you, and still loved you. Josh has been the most amazing husband, best friend, encourager, and companion I could ask for.
Even being married though, there has been this want to have a girlfriend with the same drive and same outlook as I have. It’s funny the older you get and specifically when you get out of high school and college how many things change. The people that you use to spend all of your time with are never around, or it’s just a never ending game of acting like you are friends when really it was nothing more than a memory.
I think it was Solomon that touched on the point in Ecclesiastes where he would spend hours in a room with thousands of men night after night and could not find one genuine friend. It seems so hard to come by these days. He says that a wise man will surround himself with friends that will be honest, straight forward, and call him out on sin, and a foolish man will surround himself with those that are nothing more than ear ticklers.
I have gotten so tired of playing the friend game. We were made for these deep intimate relationships with people, and we can’t get past the fact that because of age or the color of cars as the foundation of a friendship. We try to fashion people into our own liking instead of accepting the fact that God made them that way. Friendship is nothing more than give me what I want and when you don’t give it anymore I’m out. How backwards can that be!
When I moved out to Gun Barrel I didn’t know anyone. Moving away from my family and everything that I knew was rather intimidating and scary all at the same time. I began to pray for someone to talk to and relate with things, and it seemed like it was a prayer that wouldn’t be answered the way I wanted it to be.
Just recently God has brought so many women into my life to be those girlfriends. An old friendship has become more genuine and real than ever within the past month. It has been so cool to talk Jesus and Christianity with her and her husband. We have grown up so fast! He has brought another chic in my life that is so real and so honest, that I couldn’t ask for more in a friend. Her heart is so tender, and she has such a passion for the ministry. The hours get lost as we talk about ministry and where God has brought us this far. He has even put in my path some older women that I get to speak with on a regular basis between busy schedules and kiddos running around. Being able to hear their life story and their views has challenged me more and more to dig into the Word. I have been so incredibly blessed! I pray that God will use me to refine and encourage my sisters as much as they have been used to comfort and support me.
Heres to real, genuine, authentic sisters!
